Tom Buckland

 Relationship Counsellor New Forest & Southampton area or via Video-link.

Couple or Relationship Counselling (once termed marriage counselling or marriage guidance) is a specialist form of counselling for 2 people together in the same room. This is often for couples in a romantic relationship such as husband and wife or partners, but can also be used for relationships such as parent and child, siblings, or even family members.

Most people think of couple counselling as being a last resort when things are really bad, and a crisis point has been reached. This doesn’t have to be the case. Many relationships benefit in a big way by using couple counselling as a way of sorting out minor issues in the relationship, before they grow into resentment and arguments. Sometimes couple counselling is also used to help a relationship end in a positive way, so any anger or resentment is left in the counselling room, and not taken into their new life as separate people.

Couple counselling can be used in the following situations;

Things have become ‘stale’ in recent years.

Communication has become poor.

Trust has become an issue.

One partner has had an affair. Read more here.

Both partners are struggling since having children.

Romance has slowly disappeared from the relationship.

One (or both) partners are putting their energies into work (or hobbies) and not their partner.

Sex has become ‘stale’ or non-existent.

Children have left home and now there is a void.

Each person wants to be happier in the relationship, but doesn’t really understand what’s gone wrong.

There are obviously other reasons why a couple would seek a counsellor to help them through a difficult time, the important thing is to look at working with a professional to resolve the issues as soon as possible.

Couple counselling isn’t about blame, it isn’t about one partner being wrong and the other right, and research has shown many men feel they are going to be put on the spot by the counsellor and will have to defend themselves, and again this is not the case.

You won’t be left to argue through the sessions as you may at home, but I will be the facilitator to help you as a couple step back from what is not working in the relationship, understand their partner and the relationship dynamics, as well as yourself, and look at ways to improve the relationship so it becomes a healthier, flourishing, and a positive thing for both parties. I use the Gottman method, more details are on the link below.

I’m co-run a specialised clinic for Relationships and our website gives more info on this type of therapy and explains the approach and how it helps. Please visit the site for more info…….www.therelationshipcentre.org.uk